Empty
by Reminiscent
Summary: After attempting suicide, Roxas falls into a deep coma, leaving his exboyfriend to try and solve a mystery.  Little does he know, the world within Roxas's coma is more real than the one he's living in.  AKUROKU! Rated for language and adult themes.
1. We Start with Suicide

A/N: Hi! It's Reminiscent, back to do her worst. Whoo. This is my very first Akuroku fanfic, so please treat it kindly. I'm already nearly finished writing this story (just three more chapters to create!), so it will most likely be posted in a regular fashion. Not every month, like my other two (God, it's so hard to think when it comes to those suckers). Please review! 

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Empty

By: Reminiscent

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_Chapter One_: _We Start **with** Suicide_

Another mess up. What was wrong with _him_? _He_ wished _he_ was able to kick _himself_ in the balls. _He_ hated _himself_. _He _furiously raked a hand through _his _bleach-blonde hair, fisting at the back of _his _head. _His_ arms rested on _his_ desk, ruffling the sad attempts at _his_ homework. _He _barely registered in_ his _brain that_ his_ pencil had fallen to the floor. _His _forehead suddenly connected harshly with _his_ desk.

_He_ wanted to apologize to him **now**. But how? He wouldn't speak to _him_. Not anymore, at least. Every plan _he'd _made up in_ his _head to go talk to him became more and more ridiculous as time passed. Turning _his_ head to look at _his _calendar, _he_ calculated how long it had been since he'd last acknowledged _him_. The days and long hours added up to a month. An entire month without him. Could _he_ hang _himself_ now?

_His_ eye caught on a small stub of a picture stuck to the corkboard above _his_ desk that_ his _mother had insisted _he_ put up. The ache in _his_ chest intensified, and the ball in _his_ throat grew. _He _swore _he'd_ thrown that picture away, _he_ **swore** _he_ had. Just like that damn Ouija board _his_ dad had ordered to be tossed into the garbage because it was going to 'drag us all down into the fiery pits of hell where no light of salvation will shine upon our sinful faces to guide us back to the Almighty Lord.' Stupidly, _his_ brother had responded smartly after their father's quote.

"So in other words, we'd go up my butt?" Idiot had gotten smacked for that one. A fond memory. Damn digression, _he_ reminded _himself_, as _he_ continued to stare at the stub. _He_ was in it, of course, with an arm around another boy's waist, holding _him_ tightly against the person's body…a body _he_ had become all too familiar with. One that was toned, yet lean, and skin so fair it made white printing paper green with jealousy, all complimented by hair colored a near blinding shade of red. The other boy in the picture seemed to be looking off into the distance, a look of utter content represented on his face by a goofy grin. His eyes were the color, and _he _could think of nothing else to describe it right then, of either absinthe or Heinekin bottles. The green ones. Grass wasn't green enough to compare, not even close.

_He_ closed _his_ eyes, but the photo was still there, even behind his eyelids. The memory of that day was there, too. The two of them had been at an ice cream parlor, and _he_ could still taste the sweetness of the cold treat on _his_ tongue. That day had been perfection.

* * *

**Flash back **(ooh, how exciting!)

"Hey, what do you want?" _His _breath hitched as those green eyes fell onto _his_ face. "I'll get you anything. My treat." A real treat was heading back to _his_ house and locking all the door, closing all the windows, and shutting all the blinds to that they'd have plenty of privacy to…

"Sea salt ice cream." Oh God, did _his_ voice just squeak? "Just that." One red eyebrow was raised at the simple and rather cheap order.

"Are you sure that's all you want?" No. Of course not.

"Yeah."

"All right…" _He'd_ brought his camera, and it clunked on the metal porch table as _he_ set it down. If _he_ were to look through its contents at that moment, _he'd _find it chock full of photos of _him_ and—

"I've got the order. One sea salt ice cream for you."

"And what's that?" _He_ pointed at the monstrosity sitting on the other side of the table.

"Just a sundae."

"How come I doubt that?"

"Don't doubt the sundae! It is merely camouflaged by chocolate, marshmallows, banana slices, whipped cream, caramel, sprinkles, gummi bears **and** worms, Reese's Pieces, and two extra scoops of pecans. What's it to you?"

"I want to gag just looking at it."

"It's not my fault I have a more exotic and selective taste than you do…with your sea salt ice cream." _He _looked down at the blue substance that was starting to melt off the stick and onto _his_ hand.

"If that's so, then what am I doing here with you?" Emerald met sapphire in a heated gaze. Emerald turned away to look at the person sitting behind them.

"Hey, mind taking our picture for us?" Blood rushed to _his_ cheeks, coloring them a pretty pink. _He_ shyly turned _his_ head down.

"Don't—"

"Come here." _He_ was pulled out of _his_ seat and pressed against _his_ companion, who was none too shamed of how they looked together. "Hold on to me, 'kay?"

"'kay." Tentatively, _he_ wrapped _his_ arms around the waist of _his_ best friend, and then the flash went off. _He _hadn't noticed that a butterfly had caught the other's attention just as the photo had been taken. Pale fingers pushed _his_ chin up as _he_ met absinthe eyes again.

"Don't think that you're anything short of amazing, let alone exotic. I love you." A kiss was pressed to _his_ cheek. "Roxas."

* * *

_He_ opened _his_ eyes again, the picture in _his_ line of sight once more. _He _missed him so much _he_ wanted to die. _He'd _made the noose twice, and pressed the blade to _his_ wrist countless times. But _he_ had no courage to carry it out. Plus _he'd_ never see him again. Because _he'd_ be dead. Der. The thought was dramatic enough, for an angsting teenager, but the result was forever.

Still, _he_ could see no other way to end the hurting _he_ felt every time _he _would look at him, and see the lost face over and over. He always looked lost, like he didn't know _him_. Maybe he'd forgotten about _him_ already. Could eight months be erased in the time span of one? In their case, probably, especially after what _he'd_ done.

_He_ barely registered in his brain the feeling of cold steel against _his_ wrist. This time around, though, _he_ wasn't even thinking.

You can't really be afraid of something you don't think about. Hopefully the dark would be more comforting that it was when _he_ was five, _he_ decided, as black took hold of _his_ vision.

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A/N: Oh my God, so fucking eeemooooo...reviews, please, and you win a cookie! 


	2. Reasons to Forget

A/N: Yes! I was just _waiting_ for today to come. I'm pacing myself and putting this up once every week. And today's the day! So I'm very excited to post this. This chapter is from Axel's POV. That's how the story's going to be posted: One Roxas POV every five chapters. So expect a Roxas-chappie in Ch. 6. Please enjoy! _

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_Empty_

_By: Reminiscent_

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_Chapter Two_: _Reasons to Forget_

_He_ woke, gasping and sweating, _his_ sheets tangled around _him_. Dread filled _him_. Something was horribly off. _He_ stood and took in _his_ room. Nothing was moved, or had been moved since _he'd_ fallen asleep last night. Sighing, _he_ figured it had been a remnant feeling of a bad dream, and nothing more. _He _laid down again, trying to fall back into sleep. _He_ failed miserably and stumbled into the shower.

When _he_came out, much more awake, _he _checked _his_ clock. _He_ had five minutes before the laram would go off. _He_ slumped into the chair next to _his_ window. _He _vaguely wondered why _he_ hadn't moved it back downstairs to the table where it belonged. It had always been set by the window, so that when someone came in through the window, late at night, they'd step on the chair instead of falling into the room, waking up everyone who slept downstairs…namely _his_ parents, baby sister, and older brother. Not a very good idea. Then said creeping person would crawl into _his_ bed, and they'd snuggle before having some fun—so much for vague.

The thoughts of having someone wanting to forsake sleep with _him_, though, didn't leave. They stuck. They taunted. They whispered, "You miss **him**, you want **him**, you need **him** to come in through that window right now, but you know he won't because you screwed it up."

'No,' _he_ thought back to the whispers, 'He hurt me first. It's only fair that I hurt him, too.' Long ago, _he'd_ figured _he_ sounded more self-righteous than childish whenever _he_ thought this way. _He _was right. _He_ had to be right.

It didn't help, though, when the person who had hurt _him_ so badly was _his_ next door neighbor, and _he_ had to leave early so _he_ wouldn't be caught by him. _He_ observed the house next to _his_, watching a woman (his mother) make coffee before heading upstairs to kiss her sons goodbye. She always did that. It was annoying as hell. _He_ wished _his_ mother would do that. _He_ watched her through the other house's windows. _He_ noted that his window was open. _He_ saw the door open, the light from the hall shining in…and then she was screaming.

"Roxas! _Roxas_! Oh my God, Roxas! Baby, come on, wake up…wake up, for God's sake, _wake up_!" She was screaming for her husband, then, and his twin brother, crying for them to call 911. What was going on?

"_He_ threw on a wife beater, a hoody, and a pair of torn jeans all at once as _he_ scrambled down the stairs. _His_ parents were awake, hurrying to dress as the screams continued. The baby wailed in distraught. _He _ran out of the house, _his_ father and brother close behind. Other families were drawn to the house, the window still open and the shrieking mother still as loud as ever. An ambulance rushed down the street, lights flashing. Its sirens could not drown out the crying of the mother upstairs. Within five minutes, as _he_ stood outside, refusing to go in because _he_ knew he was in there, the paramedics were running back out with a boy on a stretcher, and then _he_ was screaming, too.

The bleach-blonde hair and both wrists were coated in blood, and the deep blue eyes were open and unseeing. _He_ was probably on death's threshold, by the look of it. He would most likely die before they made it to the hospital. It was probably too late. Most likely. Nearly guaranteed. But hadn't _he_ wanted this? For him to die? If _he_ did, why was _he_ screaming? Why were there tears in _his_ eyes for a boy _he_ hadn't known for a year yet?

Maybe because eight months couldn't be erased in the time span of one.

Oh, this was embarrassing. Boys weren't supposed to cry, ever. And here _he_ was.

"Wake up!"

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Flash Back 

"You awake yet?"

"Nn…yeah…"

"You…you remember what we did?"

"Last night?"

"Uh-huh."

"Hell, yeah."

"You think…maybe…we could do it again?"

"Like, right now?"

"Uh-huh."

"You didn't have to ask, stupid. I want you just as much as you want sea salt ice cream."

"That's not possible."

"Why not?"

"Because I want you more than I want sea salt ice cream."

"Well, I guess the jury had decided, and court is adjourned."

"Hormones vote yes?" _He_ grinned, lifting a hand to touch his face softly, pushing back the locks that hid his eyes from _him_.

"Oh, they vote yes."

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Now _he_ was back in _his_ room. _He_ was looking for the picture. The one from the summer, at the ice cream parlor. When _he_ found it, _he_ blinked and looked at it hard.

_He_ was the only one in the photo. Roxas was missing, and in his place was a little white thing stained with blood.

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A/N: Oh, no! What's happening? Dear God, that was cheesy...yeah. This chapter took ten days to write. And it's four notebook pages long. I'm am _so_ sad (from 4/15 to 4/25). Yes, I wrote this chapter way back in April. Yes, I know it's a bit...stale...but you still like it, don't you? (Insert watery puppy eyes) Review, and you...save a monkey!! 


	3. Whipped

A/N: Right-ho. I like Mondays now because I get to update this story!! And over 200 people have looked at it!! Eee!! To everyone who has reviewed:

**Nae'Ka**

**hermione494**

**Revalations**,

thank you so much! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your reviews. Now, onwards!!

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_Empty_

_By: Reminiscent_

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_Chapter Three: Whipped_

_He_ wanted to scream. Maybe it was _his_ fault. Maybe it wasn't. Either way, it was tearing _him_ apart. Perhaps this was God rendering judgment on _him_ and Roxas for being in love—in love with each other for the while they were. But then again, this would have never happened if they'd never broken up. What had happened?

Roxas's parents wouldn't let _him_ see him. That was half the reason _he_ wanted to scream. The other half was because Roxas was hanging in limbo: neither dead nor alive. Why was there such a thing as coma? It was stupid.

Then there was the fact that every picture of Roxas _he_ owned (and that was quite a few) no longer had Roxas in them, but the same white **thing** stained with blood, its forehead crested with some sort of cross-upside-down-heart-thing. It kind of looked like a wang. Whoa.

This was starting to become, _he_ had to admit, like a horror film. Like the The Forgotten. Or Secret Window. That kind of weird. Honestly, people don't just disappear from pictures, being replaced by creepy little bloodstained white things. Not natural in the least. And just when Roxas had tried to kill himself? **And** gone into a coma? There was one huge question burning in his mind.

What the **fuck** was going on?

Roxas was the talk of the school, now, and everyone put two and two together (damn those presumptuous students and they're knack at being right). _He_ was currently a very hated young man by the majority of the student body, seeing as the majority of the student body had been friends with Roxas. _His_ own friend stuck with _him_, though, and _he_ marveled at their ability to pretend nothing was wrong as they flipped through the pictures.

"Damn, you weren't kidding…" Larxene said softly, looking over Zexion's shoulder to peek at the photos in his hands.

"I told you! You think I'd joke around about something like this when Roxas is in the hospital?" _he_ replied, defending _himself_, "Why do I have such cruel and unusual friend?"

"We're not cruel and unusual, Axel," Zexion murmured.

"Just unusual!" Demyx chirped.

"And just what are these…things?" Sai'x wondered, raising one silver eyebrow.

"I was hoping you'd know," _he_ said.

"Well, I've never seen anything like it before," Zexion spoke with finality, handing the pictures back to _him_. _He_ sighed in defeat.

"God…I feel like the world's falling down around me," _he_ said, "If Roxas dies, I don't know what I'll do."

"Follow him, perhaps?" Larxene offered.

"Don't give him any ideas!" Demyx said hurriedly, covering the blonde girl's mouth. She bit his fingers. "Ow!"

"Maybe I will." Everyone around _him_ froze.

"Axel, I didn't mean it—" Larxene began.

"See what you've done?" Demyx admonished. _He_ shook _his_ head.

"No, Dem, I've been thinking about this for a while, you know? Even before Roxas…he just beat me to it. We were both thinking the same thing." _He_ chuckled strangely. "Funny, isn't it?"

"Not really," Demyx muttered sadly, but by then, _he'd_ already walked away with his pictures. If _he_ was going to kill _himself_, _he_ might as well get to the bottom of this first.

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"So you're actually going to go through with it. Axel, you don't have to. What if you and Roxas get back together?"

"What if he never wakes up?"

"Then I guess you'll have to wait and see."

"Suppose that'll give me time to figure out what's going on, then."

"Yep." _He_ sighed, leaning back in _his_ chair. Demyx was over today, and they were both arguing over his preplanning of suicide and discussing Roxas's disappearance in the pictures. And it wasn't happening in every picture. Roxas was replaced only in pictures with _him_ or pictures _he'd_ taken of Roxas. As said before: horror film material. If _he_ lived through this, _he'd_ become a director and make a movie out of this. _He'd_ make millions.

"Have you seen Roxas lately?" Demyx wondered, mostly to himself.

"No. His family won't let me see him. They think I pushed him to cut himself," _he_ answered, falling facedown on _his_ bed. Demyx raised an eyebrow.

"Well, isn't it, kinda?" _He_ glared at the faux-hawked boy. "I mean, don't get me wrong, but…the breakup was really sorta…um…mentally violent? I dunno, it was really bad. And then you went down the 'never speak to each other ever again' road, and that makes it worse…"

"So it's all my fault. I didn't even do anything to him." _He_ paused. "It's not like he made any efforts to talk to me, either." They thought for a moment.

"True. Still, thought."

"Hn." The two sat in silence as Demyx rifted through the pictures again. _His_ eyes flicked over to the white thing.

"What the hell do you think those things are?" _he_ said quietly. Demyx shrugged.

"I dunno. Never seen them before. Weird as fuck, though, I can tell you that much." _He_ chuckled at _his_ friend's choice of words.

"Weird as fuck?"

"Weird as fuck."

"That's funny." Another sigh escaped _his_ lungs. "You don't know a lot, do you, Dem."

"Nope. S'why I'm not on the honor roll. Talk to Zex if you're looking for a smarty pants."

"I'm looking for an answer."

"Aren't we all?"

"Yeah."

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**Flash Back**

"Axel?" _He_ turned, grinning as _his_ favorite face came into view. The halls were packed with high school students moving as if they were on body, as they hurried to their respective classes. "Can I talk to you quick?"

"Uh, after school?" _he_ said. Roxas shook his head.

"No. Right now."

"But we have to get to class."

"**Really** quick?" Roxas pleaded, his bright blue eyes (that he just couldn't deny) widening in urgency.

"Um…'kay."

"Are you seeing someone else?" That one caught _him_ off guard. _He_ stared at Roxas, mouth gaping. What the hell?

"No! Why would you think that?"

"I just—"

"How could you even **say** that?"

"Axel, I…" Roxas looked down at his feet, "I just get nervous, okay? I get really insecure. And you have a lot of guy friend, and I know you're really close with them, especially Demyx—"

"Demyx is going out with Zexion, Roxas, and he's **whipped**."

"He still looks at you like…I don't know, like he still wants to be with you."

"**Whipped**, Roxas."

"I know, but…"

"Roxas." Blue eyes rose hesitantly. _He_ sighed. "You don't think that maybe I'm whipped, too?" God, _he_ loved it when _his_ boy blushed. Now he didn't know what to say.

"You…you mean it?" Roxas almost whispered. _He_ nodded. Roxas nearly tackled him. Oh, they were late now. Roxas reached up on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "Come to my room tonight, okay?"

"You got it."

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"Dem?"

"What?"

"Are you whipped?" Red colored the boy's face, and an embarrassed smile made its entrance.

"About Zexion?" _He_ nodded. Demyx drew his knees up close to his chest, becoming the picture of shyness and insecurity.

"Well…yeah. I mean, I've never felt like how I feel when I'm with him before. I feel really…you know, really special. Privileged."

"Do you think he's whipped for you, too?"

"I'd like to think so." The two sat quietly in thought. _He_ grumbled and rolled over on _his_ belly, picking through he photos for the hundredth time.

"I went to see Roxas," Demyx said, suddenly releasing his knees and letting them drop back to the floor. _He_ looked up at Demyx, eyes wide and pictures forgotten.

"When? Why didn't you tell me?" _he_ demanded as _he_ sat up abruptly.

"I went with Riku Dau a couple days ago. I didn't say anything because I knew you'd get mad like this. I'm not that big of an idiot."

"Riku Dau?"

"Yeah."

"The junior?"

"Yeah."

"That white-blonde jock that looks like he's got a stick shoved up his butt?" Demyx snorted.

"Uh, yeah. That'd be the one."

"Since when were you guys friends?"

"Since he started dating Roxas's brother. Sora. Yeah. They're an item."

"Oh God. How did that ever happen?" They laughed, but the mirth edged its way back into silence. _His_ eyes found the pictures again. "But seriously. How is he?" Roxas, I mean."

"I know what you mean. He wakes up every now and then. It's kinda strange. He keeps talking about something, but no one can figure out what he's saying. It's just nonsense. Then he goes back to sleep." _He_ thought about Demyx's words. _He_ could never stress enough how much this was turning out to be like a movie.

"You know, this is beginning to become a real horror movie, you know that?" And the vote had been seconded. Demyx exhaled heavily and began to pluck the photos from _his_ hands.

"Hey! What are you doing?" _he_ exclaimed, moving to reclaim the stolen objects.

"You have officially stared at these long enough. We're going to do something fun. Something that won't remind you of Roxas."

"But everything reminds me of Roxas."

"Too bad. We're going out anyways. Does ice cream sound good to you?"

"No."

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A/N: Yay! Three chapters down, nine more to go! Yeah, this story is only going to last 11 chapters, plus an epilogue. Yeah, yeah, so sad, I know, but that's all I've got. So sit back, read, like, and review!! All that review shall get a bowl of ramen (for it be the food of the gods).


	4. Disappearing Everyone

A/N: Here we feature a **tiny** bit of Reno. I swear, I am half way in love with him. He's so hott!! (fangirly squeal) Things move into place in this chapter, so pay attention!! Oh, and I noticed nobody reviewed for chapter two...was it not good? I tried to make Axel as far from OOC-ness as I possibley could...

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_Chapter Four: Disappearing Everyone_

"Axel! Axel! Open up, Axel, it's important!" It was Saturday, _he was_ tired, and _he_ didn't want to get up. That completely, however, when Demyx got fed up and decided to bust in through the door and start to violently shake _him_ awake.

"Axel! Wake up!"

"Fuck you…"

"It's Zexion!" _He_ opened _his_ eyes, squinting in the morning light.

"What about Zexion? Dem, calm down, no, no…" _He_ grunted as Demyx dragged _him_ out of bed and towards the door.

"We have to find Zexion!"

"Just go to his house, Dem, lemme alone…" Demyx dropped _his_ foot and kicked _his_ butt.

"He's **missing**, Axel!"

"Prob'ly at his dad's, then. Go 'way."

"No!" Enter big brother Reno and his fist. Demyx was on his knees seconds later, unable to breathe.

"I'm friggin' tryin' to sleep, gay boy. Shut up." _He_ hurried to help Demyx up as soon as Reno left.

"A bit more of Reno's bad side than you were ready for, huh," _he_ said softly. Demyx nodded.

"Just a bit." As the breathless teen recovered, _he_ began to dress, choosing black as _his_ color. Throwing the cardigan boldly labeled 'Paradox…I am the end' over _his_ shoulders, he faced Demyx again.

"So Zexion's gone, right?" _he_ asked.

"Why do you think I was just freaking out a moment ago?" Demyx snapped in return. _He_ held up _his_ hands as a sign of peace.

"Whoa, Dem, just making sure I got what you were in hysterics about. It's a little hard to understand Hysterical Demyx. He's kinda like Sugar-high Demyx, or High-in-General Demyx: absolute nonsense. Demyx dropped his head into his knees, wrapping his hands over his head.

"Maybe this is God's punishment for being gay,"" came the sad mumble, "Just 'cause I like guys, God wants to make my life hell before I get there. Maybe this is like a boot camp for hell, or a hell-in-training…"

"Dem, I think you need to calm down. We'll go out and look for Zexion. You already checked his house?"

"No. His mom called me and asked if I'd seen him lately. You know how he wasn't at school this week? I just figured he was really sick, and then his mom called and was all, 'Make Zex come home!' and I was all, 'I don't have him here. I haven't seen him all week.' And then she flipped out and started crying and saying she was sorry, and that she was a sucky mom, and then she said that he hadn't been home since he left for school on Monday."

"And I cannot believe that you just said that all in one breath."

"Dammit, Axel, are you listening? Do you even **care** about Zexion?"

"Of course I do. I'm life's excuse for comic relief, remember?"

"Life doesn't **need** comic relief right now!"

"Sorry, sorry…" Demyx ran his fingers through his remarkably un-gelled hair. _He_ slung an arm around _his_ friend.

"Let's go look for Zex."

* * *

Zexion's father didn't know where Zex was, and believed wholeheartedly that it was, 'Good riddance'. Demyx had burst into tears the moment they'd left the house. _He_ wanted to punch the man into oblivion. The next stop was the police station. Demyx filed a missing persons report after the two of them had made sure Zexion wasn't in one of the cells. _He'd_ made Demyx stay outside while _he_ entered Zexion's last boyfriend's home to look for him there. No luck. It was only when they met up with Marluxia did things get weird. 

"Zexion…Zexion, Zexion…rings a bell, but I can't say I know the guy. Sorry." Problem was, Marluxia had been Zexion's neighbor for the better part of ten years. Demyx was distraught by the time the two of them returned to _his_ house.

"Look, Dem, how about you stay here for the night? I'm pretty sure my mom won't mind," _he _offered awkwardly, feeling a bit off by Demyx's instability. The sandy-haired boy shook his head.

"No, Ax, I'll just, you know…keep looking…" _He_ sighed and grabbed Demyx by the wrist, pulling _his_ friend inside forcefully.

"We can look for him some more tomorrow if the police didn't find him, okay? Don't worry, Dem, we'll find him," _he_ said comfortingly.

"But Marluxia didn't even **know** him—"

"He was probably just messing with your head. Just chill, **chill**! I'll go find my mom. Sit here and don't move. 'Kay?" Demyx could indeed spend the night, but _he_ could barely sleep as _his_ guest tossed and turned in a fitful slumber. Finally, when the clock read two o' clock, _he_ got out of bed and decided to pace until _he_ felt tired again. _His_ attention was caught on the pictures lying on _his_ desk. For the thousandth time, _he_ sifted through them. _He_ bit back and oath as _he_ reached a certain photo. It was one of _him_, Demyx, Roxas, and what was supposed to be Zexion, all sitting on Sunset Hill, as taken by Marluxia. However, only _he_ and Demyx were still human. Not only was Roxas replaced, but Zexion as well. In his place was the same white figure, subtly turning transparent. A part of _him_ knew they weren't going to find Zexion in the day to come.

* * *

It was 9:30 when Demyx woke up, and _he_ watched from where _he_ sat at _his_ desk as the boy sat up and stretched, yawning and scratching. _He_ observed as light blue eyes fell on him. 

"Good morning, Ax! You're up early," Demyx greeted cheerfully.

"I was thinking about attempting to visit Roxas today. You want to come with me?" _he_ asked. Demyx's expression was confused.

"Uh, sorry, but…do I know a Roxas?" _His_ eyebrow's furrowed. _He'd_ stayed up all night thinking of what to say to Dem about Zexion's disappearance in the pictures without upsetting him further, but what the **hell** was going on now?

"You're kidding, right? Roxas? In a coma as we speak?" Demyx reached out to _him_, touching _his_ face.

"Did you sleep okay? Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fucking fine! What the hell is wrong with you?" Demyx looked hurt for a moment.

"Well, sorry for being concerned about your mental health. I don't know any Roxas's, okay?"

"What, has loss of Zexion royally screwed over your mind?"

"Does sleep make you make up people in reality? What is up with you, Axel? We don't know anyone named Roxas or Zexi-whatever-the-hell-you-said." _He_ froze. First Marluxia, now Demyx. First Roxas, now Zexion. _He_ glanced over at the photos on _his_ desk, _his_ widening.

"Demyx was turning white from the bottom up.

'Oh, God, not Dem, too.'

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A/N: Another chapter down. Whoo! What has happened to Zexion? What shall be Demyx's fate? Oh nooooz! Review and you...get a Riku persocom (yeah, I'm totally friends with that one smart kid from Chobits...he gets me all my KH persocoms...)!! Come on, I know you want a Riku persocom...life sized...says what ever you want...you want to review... 


	5. Atrophy

A/N: I RETUUUUURRRNNNN!!!!!!! OMG, you have _no_ idea how good it feels to be back. Here is the long awaited chapter five...I really hope you like it! Now, don't flame me, 'cuz I journeyed far and wide to retrieve this tale of woe-face it, guys, it _is_ a tale of woe. Moving on...I will give away out new character appearance: DiZ!! I don't know if he explains stuff or makes things more complicated, but he talks, okay? And in advance...sorry about Demyx.

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_Empty_

* * *

_Chapter Five: Atrophy_

When _he_ went back to school, _he_ found that no one remembered Roxas. For days, Demyx was absent, and two weeks later, news finally reached _him_ that _his_ friend was in the hospital, terminally ill.

"He's going to die?" _he_ shouted, and Larxene flinched. "Why the hell is he going to die?"

"From what I heard, his muscles are deteriorating at an alarmingly fast pace," Vexen added, "It's genetic, they said. There's nothing they can do to stop it." _He_ glared mercilessly at the floor, wishing it would just open up and swallow _him_ whole.

"Why is everyone around me going away?" _he_ muttered. Punching a locker, _he_ stalked away, leaving _his_ friends in a stupor. _He_ proceeded to leave the school and headed for the hospital on foot. _He_ arrived half and hour later, and demanded to see Demyx. The mulleted teen was watching T.V. in the room when _he_ entered. Demyx's eyes widened in joy.

"Axel! What are you doing here?" _He_ sat himself down in a chair, pulling it closer to the bed, and then leaned _his_ elbows against _his_ knees, folding _his_ hands to rest _his_ chin upon.

"I came to see you, dummy," _he_ replied, cracking a forced grin. Demyx's brow furrowed.

"You're supposed to be in school right now."

"My friends come before school, Dem. And since when did you care about education, anyways?" The two laughed. Demyx began to cough shoulders shaking beneath the slight gown he was wearing.

"Hey, hey, take it easy," _he_ reprimanded, moving to get _his_ friend a drink of water.

"It's okay," Demyx said, "I'm fine."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure." _He_ resumed _his_ seat, and _his_ focus turned to the sobbing girl on the T.V.

"How did you know that I was here?" _he_ heard Demyx say.

"You told Larxene and Vexen, right? Word travels, you know."

"Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me?" _He_ watched as a young man proceeded to shoot at the girl, nicking her in the shoulder.

"Because you thought that you would get mad at me. You don't like it when people close to you disappear." _He_ returned _his_ attention to _his_ friend, frowning.

"It's not like you're going to die right now, right?" You still have time, don't you?" _he_ asked, panic beginning to rise in _his_ throat.

"No, it's not that I'm going to die. I mean, they just found out that I had this shit two weeks ago. I have time. But I can't leave here." _He_ looked down at the floor. Demyx couldn't leave?

"Why?" _he_ finally said.

"Because I'm getting too weak too fast. I can walk around now, but I get tired really easily. And I can…" Demyx looked at his hands, balling them into fists, "I can feel myself becoming weaker. Since the Sunday after I was at your house, I've gotten considerably weaker, and it **sucks** to wake up." He smiled at _him_. "Funny how things change so much in two weeks, huh?" Yeah. It was real funny. How no one could remember Roxas or Zexion. How _his_ best friend was going to die.

"Does it hurt?"

"No. It's just annoying."

"Aren't you scared?"

"Not at all."

"How come?"

"I don't know, 'cuz I'm not? I guess I'm just weird that way. I haven't been afraid to die since…ever. At least not since your mom died." _He_ stood as Demyx finished his statement, and walked to the window, staring furiously out of it.

"Are you trying to piss me off, Dem?" _he_ nearly whispered.

"I'm sorry, I was just saying…"

"Whatever." _He_ left the room and stomped down the hall. _He_ hadn't thought about his mother for a while now, and it still pissed _him_ the hell off to think about it.

"Excuse me, sir…can I help you?" _He_ looked behind _him_, and _his_ eyes met with a blue-eyed, blonde haired nurse carrying a clipboard in one hand while the other was propped on her hip.

"Ah…I'm visiting a friend?"

"Well, you're just standing in the middle of a busy hallway, so I was worried that something was wrong."

"Oh…sorry…" Without noticing, _he_ had slowly come to a halt and had just stood there. What was _he_, stupid? _He_ flashed a smile at the nurse. "I'll be more careful."

"Are you looking for someone?" she asked, "I can see if they're available today." A sudden thought struck _him_. It was a weekday, and none of Roxas's family would be here until afternoon, so…

"Uh, yeah, actually, you could help me out. Isn't Roxas Way on this floor?" She checked her clipboard, eyes flicking across the papers before she tapped her pen on a name.

"Yes. Roxas Way, age sixteen? Room 106, down the hall to your left. I think he's sleeping." She smiled prettily and giggled. "All the nurses like him. We spoil him rotten!" A vein pulsed on _his_ forehead while _his_ left eye twitched madly as _he_ watched the nurse skip away. _His_ anger receded as the satisfaction of knowing Roxas was gay swept over _him_. Smirking, _he_ spun on _his_ heel and went in search of room 106. Someone was already in there.

Sitting beside Roxas's sleeping form was a man dressed in red and black. Over his face was a scarlet mask, hiding his features. _He_ immediately distrusted him.

"Ah, you must be Axel Jackson. Roxas speaks of you often." His voice was low, deep, and regal—commanding even—as he spoke softly, lest he wake the blonde. "But only in his sleep."

"What are you talking about?" _he_ enquired, "He's awake? He woke up?" The stranger chuckled.

"Have a seat, Axel. Yes, Roxas has woken numerous times, but only when provoked." _He_ pulled a chair near the man and sat hesitantly.

"Hold up," _he_ said, "Who are you, how do you know my name, how do you know Roxas, and what the **hell** are you talking about?"

"So many questions."

"You think?" Roxas stirred, and the two stilled, anticipating him to wake. He rolled over and continued to sleep. _He_ let out a breath _he_ hadn't realized _he'd_ been holding.

"Nerve wracking, isn't it?" _He_ sent a merciless glare at the older man.

"Start talking."

* * *

The two had decided on walking outside as they spoke. The man's name was DiZ, and he was a scientist. _He_ didn't believe him. As they strolled through the park nearby the hospital, DiZ explained to him Roxas's condition. 

"The boy is a key, Axel," he said, "He is the key to the most important lock existing. One of memory and strength."

"And I think you're a loony." DiZ laughed heartily. _He_ frowned at his mirth.

"There are so many things your mind can never even hope to imagine, young man. Let's sit here, shall we?" He gestured to the seat a few feet ahead of them. They sat. DiZ began again. "Why do you think Roxas is in a coma?"

"The doctors said it was from blood loss and shock…"

"Those doctors don't know anything. I want to hear what **you** think." _He_ paused, wracking _his_ brain for an answer to a question _he'd_ never thought about.

"I don't know," _he_ finally said. Silence settled for a moment. DiZ sighed heavily and threw an arm over the back of the bench.

"Because of you." _He_ stiffened, _his_ hands balling into fists on _his_ knees.

"Why?" _he_ murmured, "Why me?"

"Has your life been a bit…odd lately?" _His_ eyes flicked up to the masked man, wondering how the hell he knew.

"Like, how?"

"Like disappearing people…disease-stricken friends…Roxas in a coma…things like that."

"Oh. Yeah. It's been a little odd." **Huge** understatement. DiZ hesitated paused before beginning to speak again.

"Axel Jackson doesn't exist." _He_ looked at him strangely. "Neither does anyone here. No one. None of you are real." He changed his focus to _him_ "You're all fake." Birds chirping, dogs barking, children playing, leaves rustling in the wind. _His_ own heart beat nearly stopping. Every sound on Earth suddenly went mute. Somehow, instinctively, _he_ knew DiZ was right.

"Not…anyone?"

"No. Wait…there is one exception." DiZ grinned through the gap of his mask. "The Way twins exist."

"That's why he's in a coma?"

"Yes. He has become nonliving in this world."

"But he wakes up!"

"Technically, it isn't the Roxas you know who's awake."

* * *

_He_ went to the Way home that evening, intent on speaking to Roxas's family about DiZ. A cop car was parked in the driveway. _He_ went in anyhow. As _he_ stepped into the foyer, _he_ could hear Mr. Way talking in a low tone, and Mrs. Way crying uncontrollably. _He_ slid off _his_ shoes and padded into the living room where _he_ found the two parents, two police officers, and Riku Dau. Mrs. Way's attention turned to _him_, and she began to cry harder. 

"What are you doing here?" Mr. Way growled. _He_ shrugged.

"Just came to talk."

"Have you seen Sora?" Mrs. Way asked, her voice thick with tears, "Please, tell me you've seen Sora! Is he safe? Is he alright?" _He_ shook _his_ head 'no', and she proceeded to put her head in her hands and wail.

"What happened?" _he_ wondered.

"Mind your own damn business," Mr. Way replied.

"Sora's missing," Riku said suddenly.

"Riku!"

"He could help find him. Ask people if they've seen him." Riku turned his gaze onto _him_. "People like DiZ." That caught _him_ off guard. The silver-headed boy took _him_ by the arm, excused the both of them, and pulled _him_ out of the room.

"How do you know DiZ?" _he_ demanded.

"He came to me a little bit before Sora disappeared. Three days ago. He was with Roxas when you saw him, wasn't he? That's why you came here, right?" _He_ nodded. Riku leaned against the wall. "He said he would go to see you soon. What did he say?" _He_ crossed his arms and frowned.

"A lot of big words." Riku laughed softly.

"Like what?"

"Stuff like 'atrophy' and something about Amy Lee's band…"

"Who the hell is Amy Lee?"

"Evanescence? Der! That dude was all like, 'Roxas is in a state of atrophy-something-or-other and he's Evanescence on the other side…' No sense whatsoever."

"You mean 'evanescing'?"

"Uh…yeah." _He_ shifted uneasily. _He_ didn't like it when people knew things _he_ didn't.

"So in short, DiZ said that Roxas is in a state of decay and that's he's fading away on the 'other side'? On the other side of what?"

"I don't know. Wherever Sora and Zexion are?" Riku's eyes flickered.

"Zexion from eleventh grade? He's missing, too?" _He_ furrowed _his_ brow in confusion.

"Wait. You remember him?"

"…I shouldn't?" The two of them were quiet for a moment. _He_ moved slightly again.

"No one remembers Roxas or Zexion. No one at school, anyhow. Not even their friends. It's just me and you."

"You think it's because of DiZ? I mean, he's seen the both of us. Maybe he's some kind of hypnotist going door to door, erasing everyone's memories."

"So he's got a grudge on Sora and Roxas?"

"Shut up. It was a guess." The officers interrupted them as they left the living room, nodding to them as they exited the house. _He_ broke the quiet first.

"Would you die for Sora?" _he_ asked, "Say this 'other side' is like…death. Would you go there if it meant finding him?"

"Yes." The answer came slowly and unsure out of Riku's mouth, but _he_ wouldn't make any judgments about the boy as long as he had the courage to say it.

"Good. That makes things hella easier."

* * *

A/N: AUUUGGHHH!! (runs from rabid Demyx fans) You'll all want to kill me in the seventh chapter, just wait...(shudders) But no worries!! Next chapter will go back to Roxas, so we'll be taking a look at how he's been doing...wherever he is...inside his head...(whispers) _crazy_ Hahahah!! Until Monday, my friends (remember, Tuesday at the latest!), farewell!! Don't forget to R&R!!

Reminiscent


	6. If I Stayed Here

A/N: OMG I'm so sorry it's taken me so long. I HATE SCHOOOOOOL!!!! And if I don't do things right, my parents are going to take me out of school...AUGH!! And junior year...the sweat is rolling down my back. Ugh. Anywho..._**READ THIS!!!**_ If you didn't read the last chapter, you definitely won't understand Ch. 7. Just letting you know.

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_Empty_

_By: Reminscent_

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_Chapter Six_: If I Stayed Here 

**Flash Back**

"Hey, you finally awake?" _He_ blinked _his_ eyes, the blonde lashes flicking smartly against the morning light. The boy lying beside _him_ inhaled and flopped over the face _him_. "Didn't think you were that worn out." A pause. "Then again, it **was** your first time…" _He_ sensed a blush rise from _his_ neck to _his_ face.

"Shut up. It's half way your fault for seducing me," _he_ replied; _his_ words sounded more tired than _he_ felt.

"Me? Seduce you? I figured it was you doing all the seducing, since you have this…" A warm hand splayed open on _his_ torso, "**outrageous**…" beginning to travel upwards to _his_ chest, "**beautiful**…" to turn _his_ face towards the speaker, "**smexy**…" and bring _his_ lips to touch another familiar pair, "body." A long, slow, deep kiss ensued. _His_ breathing was unsteady when they parted, and _he_ could see in the reflection of _his_ lover's green eyes _his_ own expression: breathless and needing.

"­­­­­­…" How strange. _He_ was saying the name, but couldn't hear it leaving _his_ mouth. "­­­­, please, I—" The face of the young man lying before _him_ disappeared, as if there was a blank space on the bed, and green eyes glowed eerily at _him_, disembodied, but at the same time didn't seem strange. Invisible hands grasped _his_ hips and drew _him_ forward, pressing _him_ flush against an invisible body, grinding against _him_. _He_ gasped, _his_ head falling back. An invisible mouth descended onto _his_ neck.

"Anything," the green eyes told _him_, "anything you want. I'll do it." A kiss was pressed to _his_ cheek. "Roxas."

* * *

_His_ eyes snapped open, and a heavy, cold sweat broke out over _his_ body. It was dark, save for the bright moon to _his_ side. It was then that _he_ realized _he_ was lying on the ground. _He_ lay there for a while, wondering how _he'd_ gotten there, where ever 'there' was. _He_ remembered little: only strikingly green eyes and a low, smooth voice. And a name… 

Sitting up, _he_ looked out at the moon, finding that _he_ was on a beach, the water reflecting the moon's glow. Above _him_, stars shone.

"Light," _he_ murmured. _He_ knew that word, and that it didn't apply well to _him_. "I don't like it," _he_ decided.

"That's right. The light is our enemy." _He_ jumped and looked behind _him_. A man dressed in a black cloak stood there, unrecognizable beneath the hood.

"Who are you?" _he_ asked shakily, _his_ voice rough. The cloaked man held out a hand.

"Who I am as of now is of little importance. You, though…you're very important to me." _He_ took the offered hand and stood, shivering as cold air hit _his_ skin for what felt like the first time. _He_ noticed _he_ lacked clothing, and wrapped _his_ arms around _himself_ self-consciously, bowing _his_ head in embarrassment. Black cloth soon enveloped _him_. _He_ looked up at _his_ visitor in surprise. A black shirt was tossed to _him_, as well as a pair of boots and pants.

"Put those on," _he_ was ordered, "I believe they'll fit you well enough." _He_ put on the clothes. They fitted snuggly, as if specially made for _him_. Pulling the cloak's hood over _his_ head, _his_ gaze fell onto the one who'd helped _him_.

"Now what?" _he_ wondered. _His_ companion stretched out a hand to _him_, as if in invitation.

"You do as I tell you."

* * *

His name was Xemnas. He had said that here were other like _him_, who were beings meant for neither the dark nor the light. _He_ was the youngest and the last of them, but _he'd_ never met them. Xemnas, or 'the Superior', as he had insisted, said that _he_ would have to prove _his_ worth before being presented to the rest of Organization XIII. In the mean time, preparations would be made for _his_ coming. It all sounded great when the Superior had said it, but now…hell, _he_ didn't even know what the **fuck** _he_ was doing. 

"You were born into the nothingness without a name, without a name, without meaning, and without hope," was what the Superior always said when _he_ would ask why _he_ was doing what _he_ was doing, "I will give you that and much, much more. All you have to do is show me you're worth my time." So _he_ did just that. How hard could it be? The only thing _he_ had to do was kill people. Rip their hearts out and watch them become part of the shadows…part of _**him**_.

Then came the day when the Superior said, "Would you like to come home, number thirteen?" Of course, _he_ had replied accordingly, yet eagerly.

"Yes."

* * *

'Home' turned out to be a place that didn't exist. The World Than Never Was, the Superior called it. It was always nighttime there, so _he_ had welcomed it. The building _he_ actually stayed in the part _he_ didn't like, as well as some of the people. Everything was **white** and **bright** and **clean** and **flawless**. Things _he_ wasn't. It made _him_ very uncomfortable. Almost as uncomfortable as when the Superior had showcased _him_ in front of the rest of the Organization. The entire time had been spent staring at _his_ boots while the Superior had talked and talked…when all that really needed to be said was _his_ name. 

"He is Roxas, the Key of Destiny." Finally. _He_ knew who _he_ was. Finally.

_He_ had proceeded to spend _his_ bounty munny on paint and posters to cover the painful white of the walls within _his_ living quarters. At least _he_ earned a salary.

Line here.

The first of the Organization _he_ had met was a silent, slate-haired man. _He_ had accidentally bumped into him on _his_ way out of the World That Never Was. _He_ wanted a variety of clothing. What could he say?

"Sorry," was what _he_ did say, "I'm, uh…are you okay?"

"Fine," came the single-worded answer. _He_ soon found that his name was Zexion (after grunting out a record sentence of three words), and that he was one of the top six of the Organization. Then he had rudely walked away, leaving _him_ to stand awkwardly by _himself_. It was that day that _he_ had discovered _his_ haven. It was called Twilight Town, and it was perfect. It had its flaws, and was caught between the light and the dark throughout the day. _He_ liked to sit on the top of the clock tower after buying (if to lazy to steal) sea salt ice cream. But then, after retreating to the little town for about two weeks everyday, someone followed _him_ there.

"The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Go it memorized?"

"Go away." _He_ had risen quickly to his feet, ready to move a few feet away, and then the wind kicked up. The 'Axel' had grabbed at the back of _his_ shirt and yanked _him_ back, wrapping his arms around _his_ midriff and pressing _him_ against his body.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it easy there! You're no use to the Organization broken into pieces." _He_ wasn't paying attention. _He_ was no longer on the clock tower in the arms of a stranger, but staring deeply into the absinthe eyes of the one _he'd_ known how to love, back when _he_ knew. _He_ was at an ice cream parlor, and enjoying the sun, enjoying the light. A surge of heat pulsed in _his_ chest, where _his_ heart would be, as the words, 'I love you,' were breathed against _his_ neck before the collar of _his_ shirt was pushed off to the side so the set of teasing lips dragged their way down to thoroughly give _his_ shoulder a good molesting. Suddenly, the clock tower tolled the hour, and the vision shattered into nonexistence. The 'Axel' was looking at _him_ strangely, but by seeing into his eyes, _he_ knew this was the one who owned the smoldering set of green eyes left behind by _his_ first dream. They were on his face. Duh, they were his. _He_ twisted around in Axel's arms and raised up on _his_ tip-toes to get closer to the face, to the eyes. Axel didn't draw away, but merely watched with lips parted.

"I know you somehow, don't I?" _he_ said softly, _his_ voice seeming to escape him, "Who are you, seriously?" Axel smiled and dropped his head low enough to touch _his_ forehead with his own.

"I'm Axel," he responded, "Just Axel." A kiss became two, three, a full-blown make out session, and then beyond. If they had hearts, _he_ was sure they'd be pounding as one, as they became one. The sun went down, and the stars came out, but it was more beautiful to watch naked on a clock tower atop an equally unclothed being, breathless, sweating, knowing things were going too fast, but uncaring because somehow, everything was beautiful again.

If I laid here…if I just laid here…would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"Yes."

* * *

A/N: Oofta. Again, if you didn't read Ch. 5, you **_will not_** understand Ch. 7. I'm just saying that because I don't think people looked that I changed the notice in last chapter into the actual Ch. 5. Oh, well. Their loss.

Thank you so much for reading!!

Reminiscent


	7. Waking Up

A/N: Jebus Christ. Looks who's back.

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**Empty**

* * *

_Chapter Seven: Waking Up_

_He _stood, _his_ head throbbing. _He_ could feel blood trickling down his face, and somewhere in _his_ mind, _he_ heard whispers. Most of them were promises. Others were lies.

"I will always love you." **Lie**.

"I'll never leave you." **Lie**.

"I'd die for you." _Promise._

"Forget him." _He_ fell to _his_ knees again as pain tore through _his_ entire being. A tiny hand was pressed to the back of _his_ skull, and the voice speaking to _him_ was soft and feminine. _He_ could nearly hear the sorrow in her words. "Everything will just hurt so much more." Then there was nothing.

* * *

**Flash Back**

_He _and Riku went out to find Diz. They checked the hospital first. Of course, it was after hours, and the receptionist refused to let them see Roxas (they only wanted to get in his room). Then Riku pulled out the big guns. Turned out he had the talent of making up an amazingly believable sob story in three seconds flat. He even cried a little. The receptionist caved.

"Impressive, Dau. You officially may call yourself gay."

"Shut the fuck up, bitch ass."

They arrived at room 106, but found only Roxas. _He_ couldn't help but to walk nearer to the sleeping lump that was the former object of _his_ affection. _He_ wanted to reach out and touch him. _He_ realized _his_ hands were shaking.

"Come on," Riku hissed, "Diz isn't here."

"Hold on a second," _he_ replied, not taking _his_ eyes off of the blonde boy. _He_ drew closer, and then slowly sat on the bed. A trembling hand made its way into the golden, mussed locks. _He_ marveled at how soft they were for a boy unconscious nearly a month's length. _He_ touched Roxas's face. Roxas sighed, and his eyes opened. They moved to _his_ face, and he smiled.

"Axel," he murmured. Riku moved forward in surprise. "I'm really tired, Axel." _He_ didn't know how to reply, or what to do. Overwhelming feelings crashed over _him_. _He_ took Roxas in _his_ arms and held him close, breathing in the scent on Roxas carried.

"Roxas, Roxas," _he_ whispered urgently, tears prickling at his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Roxas. I didn't want to hurt you this badly. I never meant to hurt you this badly."

"When did you hurt me? I told you before I fell asleep: I **liked** it," Roxas replied, his voice muffled by sleep and _his_ shoulder. _He_ pulled away far enough to look into Roxas's eyes.

"What?" _he_ said incredulously. Roxas looked back at _him_ with dreamy eyes.

"This is a dream, right? I thought the Superior said Nobodies couldn't dream, but look. I'm dreaming," he mumbled.

"No," _he_ interrupted, "You're not dreaming. You're really here with me. You're awake. Trust me!"

"Trust you? I just met you," Roxas sleepily countered.

"No!" _he_ exclaimed, almost too loudly, "We've known each other for almost a year. I love you." Roxas shook his head, and _he_ could nearly hear _his_ heart shattering into a thousand pieces.

"Nobodies can't feel, either. We only know anger and…" Roxas yawned, heavily leaning against _him_, "pain…" He was falling asleep again. _He_ panicked as Roxas put his arms around _him_ and relaxed.

"Roxas. Roxas! Don't you dare go back to sleep on me…Roxas!"

"It's no use, Axel." _He_ and Riku looked behind them toward the door. Diz stood there. "This world is nothing but a dream to him. A place where he can no longer exist."

"That can't be true," _he_ protested.

"It's is." A sense of utter helplessness bloomed in _his_ chest, and _he_ resorted to holding the unconscious boy in _his_ arms as close to _his_ own body as possible. Roxas's arms were still clinging to _his_ middle, and _he_ felt nearly whole. It was almost heaven to be touching Roxas. _He_ rested _his_ head on Roxas's shoulder.

"Please tell me there's a way to get them back," _he_ gritted out. Diz seemed to think before answering slowly.

"No. There isn't. I'm sorry." _He_ squeezed _his_ eyes closed, and twin tears slipped down _his_ cheeks onto Roxas's gown.

"Does this mean that…they're gone forever?" Riku finally said.

"Technically no. There is a way, but you must go to them, not them to you." The two boys perked at those words.

"How do we get there?" Riku asked eagerly.

"Easily, Mr. Dau. There is a condition to be met."

"Yeah, and?" _he_ responded.

"You can never come back." That was one hell of a drawback. What about Demyx? _His_ family? Riku sensed the indecision raging through _his_ mind. His eyes met with Diz's.

"How long do we have to decide?" he questioned.

"Not very."

"Well, that tell me next to nothing." _He_ drowned out their voices as _he_ lowered Roxas back onto the mattress, pulling the covers up to his chin and touching his face tenderly. _He _stood, and Diz and Riku silenced themselves.

"Where should I meet you?" _he_ asked, barely noticing how hollow _his_ voice sounded, "When do we leave?"

"Axel, are you sure?" Riku tested, "What about Demyx?"

"What about fucking Demyx?" _he_ retorted angrily, "He's going to fucking die anyways!" _He_ turned to Diz. "Answer me."

"Meet me near the train station in an hour," Diz said, checking his watch. "You should have enough time to say good bye."

* * *

_He_ went to _his_ house first. Everyone was asleep, and _he_ had to climb up the gutter to get into _his_ window. _He_ felt so loved. Was there even a need to pack clothes? They probably wouldn't exist where _he_ was going if this world wasn't real. But then again, would _he_?"

After just standing in _his_ room for nearly ten minutes, _he_ left for house for what he felt was the last time. Was it right to leave a note? _He_ didn't know, but _he_ left one anyways. _He_ guessed it made _him_ feel better, because _he_ could actually leave the house in the end, empty-handed.

* * *

When _he_ arrived at the train station, _he_ saw Diz almost immediately. _He _noticed the swirl of black, though, and then a lack of Riku.

"What is that?" _he_ asked, "Where's Riku?"

"This is the portal to the next world, Axel Jackson. Riku has already gone ahead." Diz held out his hand. _He_ took it. "Good bye, Axel."

"Wait…you're not going, too?" _he_ wondered, suddenly feeling panic settle in, "What do you mean by 'good bye'?"

"Let's just say," Diz said slowly as he took _his_ arm and led _him_ to the portal, "This is the last breath Axel Jackson will ever take." Diz shoved _him_ in. Darkness engulfed _him._ _He _let out a scream.

* * *

Eight days later, a patient a floor above Roxas was laid to rest. His name was Demyx Bleun.

The next day, no one remembered he'd ever existed.

**End Flash Back**

* * *

_He_ blinked, _his_ green eyes opening groggily to fully awaken _his_ mind. _He_ heard voices above _him_. Everything was annoyingly white and black, just like _his_ mind.

"Hey, I think he's waking up!" a masculine voice exclaimed jovially. _He_ felt weak, very weak.

"Axel," someone else softly spoke into his ear, "You have work to do."

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End.

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A/N: **_And guess what guys? You, yes, you get your review replies through my video blog!! Want details? See my account for more!!_**


	8. What I've Always Wanted

A/N: Sorry, won't have video blog updated until later on.

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**Empty**

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For some reason, _he_ had the feeling that _he_ was always being watched. It was annoying as hell. Lucky _he_ didn't have anything to hide. But that was only until someone new showed up. Number IX. _He_ felt as if _he_ should have known the sandy-haired boy who simply couldn't part with that bizarre, wang-shaped, guitar-ish thing. His name was Demyx. Something struck _him_ inside, and _he_ wanted to apologize to the new Organization member for some odd reason.

"I'm sorry," _he_ unexpectedly said one night as they met in the streets of The World That Never Was. IX smiled, and surprised _him_ with a calm reply.

"It's alright," he said, and the two became friends…sort of. Until Demyx decided it would be funny to drench _him_. Not. Cool. After Demyx came Luxord, though, and he taught anyone who was interested how to gamble and play a good game of cards. He always won. Everyone swore the games were rigged. When Marluxia and Larxene appeared, bossy and controlling, _he_ decided things were getting less boring around the place. Before, all the Organization members (save Xigbar) had acted like old men. A sense of flavor seemed to be blossoming within the Organization, but it wasn't until number XIII showed up that _he_ realized _he_ ached inside, almost yearning for something more. _He_ watched the youngest member, observing how he did everything possible to color his existence. At first, the other members told him he was foolish, and that it was all for nothing. But the blond didn't listen, and continued to try. For weeks, _he_ watched him buy clothes and paint and other expressive things (throw pillows?), and soon, _he_ noticed that the blond would disappear for hours every day before returning in a considerably better mood. Curious, _he_ followed.

It was called Twilight Town. It was quiet, peaceful, and the breeze was warm and fragrant. Children played, pointlessly kicking around a ball, paying _him_ no attention as _he_ passed. Young girls chattered mindlessly in front of a jewelry store, and a group of boys examined a poster plastered to a wall labeled '**STRUGGLE!!**'_He_ searched for the little blond. He was buying sweets, and the blank expression that had previously ruling his face was erased by a sudden, sweet smile. _His_ heart would have ached, if _he'd_ possessed one.

As _he_ followed the boy, _he_ tried to remember his name. What the hell was it…

"The name's Axel. Got it memorized?" _he_ said nonchalantly when _he_ caught up to him atop the clock tower. Blue eyes (why were they so goddamn familiar?) glared, boring into _his_ head. _He_ scowled.

"Go away," he said forcefully, standing to move away. A gust of wind caught him off guard, and _he_ found _himself_ instinctively reaching out to grab the boy.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" _he_ exclaimed, feeling awkward and slightly embarrassed by _his_ actions, "Take it easy there! You're no good to the Organization broken into pieces…" The world unexpectedly fell away until nothing existed but the boy in _his_ arms, stiff and unmoving."

"Roxas," _he_ whispered as the name filtered into _his_ mind, and then _his_ sight. _He_ was sitting in an oddly shaped metal box with wheels. It was a car, _his_ hazy memory told _him_. Roxas was seated beside _him_, silent tears tracking down his cheeks as his hands gripped his knees.

"Why are you doing this?" he repeated over and over, "Why are you, why, what does it matter?" there was a continuous sound outside. Rain. The sky cracked open and let its sorrow fall. _He_ stared straight ahead, trying to ignore the guilt roiling in _his_ belly.

"We knew people would come out and say something someday," _he_ found _himself_ saying, _his_ tone harsh and cold, "It was only a matter of time before your parents found out their little golden boy was being fucked by the neighbor."

"How can you say it like you thought it was wrong all along?" Roxas gritted out, "You were the one who told me it was right!"

"Maybe you should have never listed to a fuck-up pothead like me," _he_ replied, almost as if to _himself_.

"But I don't care about that," the blond protested.

"Obviously, it's not enough to keep you to myself!"

"I don't care about what my parents think!"

"That's not what I mean, Roxas." Roxas brought his arms up around _his_ neck.

"I only care about staying with you."

"Get off me," _he_ murmured, "Fucking liar."

"No," Roxas whispered, lips trembling as he pleaded, "No, just listen. It's not what you thought it was."

"Heard that on a soap opera once."

"Shut up and listen!"

"I said get off me!"

"Why won't you just listen?" _He_ shoved the tearful boy off _his_ person and left the car, walking swiftly into the pouring rain. Roxas pursued _him_, the rain moving with his tears perfectly. He wrapped his arms around _his_ waist, pressing his face into _his_ back. _He_ briefly wondered why it hurt so much to know Roxas had kissed someone else…and liked it.

"I don't want to listen." _He_ reached down to unhook that pair of hands there. Roxas tightened his grip.

"But then you'll never understand!"

"I don't need you to spell it out for me. You don't need me anymore. I get it."

"That's not what I'm trying to say."

"Spare me the dramatics, Roxas. I know what I saw."

"But why did you bring it up now? Why did you wait until people started to talk?" _He_ wrenched the blond's arms apart, prying _himself_ away.

"Because I needed to know if it was true!" _he_ roared, "I waited because I knew if rumors started to fly, what I saw was true. You were with him—"

"No…"

"You wanted him—"

"I didn't…"

"And then he _fucked_ you over for laughs, made _my_ boyfriend out to be a slut!"

"It wasn't…!"

"And you know what, Roxas?" _he_ seethed, "He didn't just make you out to be a slut."

"Axel…"

"He made you into one." _He_ turned on his heel and stalked towards the car. "I don't date whores."

"Axel, don't…no, you don't mean it!" _He_ ignored the cries of despair and got into _his_ car, soaked, and sped off the hill that _he'd_ parked on. When _he_ looked into his rear view mirror, _he_ almost turned back. Roxas stood where he'd left him, face expressionless, but his shoulders were shaking, alone, wretched, and crying. Eight months, they had been together. Now, it was over.

Suddenly the clock tower tolled the hour, and the vision shattered into nonexistence. The boy in _his_ arms…_he_ had loved him with every cell in _his_ being. Once upon a time, they had been one person.

"I know you somehow, don't I? Who are you, seriously?" As if _he_ knew. _He_ started the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm Axel. Just Axel." _His_ lips were abruptly captured in a heated kiss, long and deep. Nothing could be explained in words between them now, only actions that stirred up make-believe emotions within them.

And when Roxas began mumbling in his sleep, _he_ drew him closer beneath their cloaks, attempting to pick up a word or two. _He _knew _he_ wanted nothing else in _his_ existence; just this boy. _He_ knew that _he_ had given up much to protect him, and to find and apologize to him, to make things right…

_He_ wondered if Roxas felt the same.

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End.

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A/N: **_And guess what guys? You, yes, you get your review replies through my video blog!! Want details? See my account for more!!_**


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